


chocolate brown and crystal blue

by jail_bird



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Angst, I don't know why I wrote this, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, im sorry, its sad, poor tyler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 17:17:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13862289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jail_bird/pseuds/jail_bird
Summary: he misses him.some days,it hurts more.





	chocolate brown and crystal blue

The clock on the wall reads 9:47 AM. He rubs at his eyes, stifling a yawn.

 

He’s been awake for the past three days.

 

The sun’s too bright in the morning; he pulls down the blinds and shuts the curtains. He makes his way to the bathroom, splashing water on his face. It drips down his chin, soaking into the front of his shirt.

 

He reaches up to wipe his face; his fingers brush over rough stubble. He hasn’t shaved in a while.

 

He can barely recognize the man in the mirror when he glances up at his reflection. His face looks weathered — long shadows cast across his features give him a haunted look. Fatigue, etched into every line of his body, is painfully clear in somber blue eyes. Eyes that used to shine so bright, were once the color of a clear summer sky. Eyes that once matched beautifully with another pair.

 

Chocolate brown and crystal blue, inseparable day and night.

 

The memories come so suddenly that he doesn’t even realize he’s shaking until his hands curl into fists. He can’t stop the tears in his eyes or the emotions in his chest — emotions he’s locked up and hid away for so long, for too long. Memories flood his mind and it’s too late, he’s blinded by the onslaught, and all he can remember is—

 

_His eyes; the taste of dark chocolate, the smell of coffee. His hair. Jet black; soft underneath his touch. His lips; yielding, entrancing him and drowning him in their embrace. His laugh; clear and happy, deep and rich._

 

_The joy on his face when he taught him how to play the guitar and they sang duets at the top of their lungs until midnight, pissing off the neighbors._

 

_The sound of his voice, shouting, yelling, and laughing as they stayed up all night playing video games, recording stupid skits and scenes for videos, trolling the shit out of eachother all the while._

 

_The way the sunlight illuminated his face in the morning, the golden rays shining softly through his hair, giving him the appearance of an angel._

 

_His caring hands, his kind words, the way he hummed in his sleep or laughed at his own joke._

 

_Just the way he simply was._

 

How long he sat there after the last memory faded, curled up on the cold tile floor of his bathroom, he doesn’t know. How long he laid there choking on the pieces of his own heart as it bled out onto the ground, he doesn’t know.

 

**I can’t do this anymore.**

 

It’s too easy to imagine him sitting right there, next to him, comforting him, and it hurts all the more because of it.

 

The pain becomes more and more unbearable; he screws his eyes shut as his grief pours down his face, soaking his shirt.

 

**Fuck.**

 

He takes in a few shuddering breaths.

 

**I can’t.**

 

He chokes on another sob, feeling his heart shatter more and more with every heartbeat.

 

His arms give out from underneath him when he tries to get up; the lack of sleep has finally caught up to him. After a brief struggle, he gives up and eventually surrenders to gravity.

 

 **What’s left?** he asks himself. Dead quiet meets his question.

 

He shuts his eyes again with a shaky sigh. The silence is deafening, and he can feel the pain coming again, along with something else; a deep longing, so profound and aching that he can’t breathe. A longing for the one thing that would heal him and make him whole again.

 

 _A longing for him_.

 

**There’s nothing left.**

 

He grits his teeth, determined to stem the ache in his heart.

 

_His voice, his laughter,_

 

**You were here once,**

 

_—his eyes, his lips,_

 

Fresh tears stream down his face.

 

**but you’re gone now.**

 

_—the way the skin around his eyes crinkled slightly when he smiled, wide and white,_

 

It’s too much for him; pure agony crashes over him, so much worse this time.

 

**And you left these broken pieces behind you.**

 

**Author's Note:**

> first time writing a fic, hope I didn't do too bad. thanks for reading (and I hope ye enjoyed)!


End file.
